• Jennifer Harris

    Martha, Thank you so much for your care and interest and it is never too late! I will look those resources up and share with others I know in similar circumstances. Again. thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Sherrie and Jennifer –
    I have just found this thread and know that it took place about six months ago. However, when I saw that Jennifer said she lived in close proximity to the Austin, Tx area, I felt I had to share a resource that has been helpful to me.
    Adoption Knowledge Affiliates (AKA) is an adoption education and support group for each portion of the adoption triad. Robyn Gobbel, LCSW has a practice in the Austin area and leads the AKA. The people that I met here as well as Robyn truly “get” the loss and anguish that can be associated with adoption. So many counselors don’t have adequate training and experience in helping families that are dealing with the trauma associated with not only adoption itself but also the trauma children are dealing with that are adopted from Child Protective Services and orphanages overseas.
    Anyway, two excellent resources in the Austin, Texas area for Jennifer are: for AKA’s website for Robyn Gobbel’s website
    Another, resource in Texas is the TCU Institute for Child Development with Dr. Karen Purvis. She has done a great deal of work with overseas adoptions. Their website is:
    I’m now in my eleventh year of trying to wrap my mind around and understand my children’s loss and trauma. I so wish there was more education on the front end of adoption so we as the adoptive parents could be more proactive and understand how to support our children better from the onset.
    Thank you Sherrie for all you do with your outreach. Your resources have also been a Godsend to me in my journey as an adoptive parent of three of God’s children.

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  • I did. I will send you a copy of her letter. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  • I live outside of Austin Texas. i found out more info today. The young friend told me that it is not just this young lady but anyone who will give her love and attention. She said it was actually more guys than the one girl. I know there isn’t anything I can do, but pray, but it would be nice if I could talk with someone in similar circumstances. I did go to the family camp on attachment and bonding with Nancy Thomas. It was incredible and my daughter actually went with us and was so attentive and spoke with Nancy about possibly having RAD. Then she returned and a friend said she was great for 3 days, then the girl came around and she was gone again down that road. The friend said she has spiraled rapidly. It was just March when she was desirous of a godly man for a husband and wanting to attend the Father/Daughter conference in Georgia in March. They did go. We just didn’t realize how much her past trauma was still lying in wait.
    Thank you, though, for responding!

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  • Dear Sherrie,
    Thank you so much for your reply! The latest is finding out last night of her involvement with another young lady. It hurts so much – for her as well as for me. How do I continue to show tangible love to her? I don’t mean that as rhetorical but actual. I obviously am not supposed to know but she has already withdrawn from us. The weird thing is she keeps posting these things about her love for God and how we can show love to God, etc etc. I know this is because of her trauma but I am trying so hard to understand it. She is such a beautiful young lady who has declared her love of God for years. I don’t know who she is anymore and I gather, neither does she. Do you know anyone who has had a similar experience that would be willing to speak with me. It is a lonely journey. Thank you!

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  • I feel I may have lost my daughter (we adopted her when she was almost 12 from Kazakstan)(She’s 20 now) because we did not understand about adoption losses and attachment issues, though we are learning much now. She recently left home because she was upset with us and though raised as a Christian and still saying she is (my son says she reads her Bible and writes in her journal) but her life choices are alarming. She is drinking and chatting on line with guys in chat rooms, which even scares my 30 yo son. She is like 2 people and she was always so sweet and beautiful(still is) but we don’t understand. I do know now that she was being easy and compliant for fear of rejection and we had assured her of that before she left. (that we would never leave her and would always be here). I am scared for her, though I know she is in God’s hands but still wish I knew what to do. I am purchasing all your books and have loved the one for adoptive parents 20 things adoptees wish they knew. Your life has been so successful. I so want that for my daughter. She had such a traumatic first 11 years. I wish I had known all this before she left. I am not sure what you can tell me, but there it is. Thank you for your books.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Jennifer,
      If my mom and dad were alive, they would be nodding their heads in agreement with everything you just said about your daughter. I led a double life too–my acting out was masked however, with popularity.
      Just now, I prayed for you guys and your daughter. Pray that she will come to see herself through God’s eyes.


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