An Adoptee’s Heart-Wrenching Decision to Search
Dear friends through adoption,
After hearing my family’s silences, judgments, and sarcasm about possibly searching for my birth mother, I made a very difficult decision. It was a decision that was new to me, even though at the time, I was 47 years old.
I was like an overgrown eaglet who had stayed in the nest too long. Get me out of here, I was squawking. I’d stayed in the nest so long that all the sticks and thorns that lined the nest were hurting me. I needed to fly away from the thorns of pleasing others, putting others first, and listening to others before hearing what my own heart was saying. I felt guilty, introspective, and terrified to go against everything my family and friends were telling me.
One Sunday, I heard a verse from the Bible that actually talked about searching. “There is a time to search….and a time to give up as lost.” (Ecclesiastes 3)
Oh, my goodness….it was as if those words jumped off the page at me!
Really? Really, God? Are You encouraging me to search? The God of the universe is encouraging me to search. Oh, could it be that He is that interested in little old me?
Go ahead and fly, Sherrie! I am the great Eagle and I will teach you to fly. Come on, get up on my big, powerful wing and look at the incredible life I have in store for you.
Wow! Could God Himself be encouraging me to search? Could it really be? Yes, it could be, and yes it was.
I took a look at the big, powerful wing. Oh my goodness, You are so strong, so powerful, so beautiful, so in charge of the whole world. Yes…yes….yes! I want to hop on Your wing and learn to fly.
Let me know about your process of finalizing your decision to search, okay? Have a great day!